Limericks

Liebe Freunde der bissigen Kleinkunst!

Limericks werden wegen ihrer Kürze und ironischen Ausrichtung nicht ganz ernst genommen. Dabei wäre ja genau das ihr Ziel. Jedenfalls haben viele wichtigte Schriftsteller Limericks verfasst. Zuerst einmal ein paar meiner persönlichen favourites:

"On the beach," said John sadly, "there's such
A thing as revealing too much."
So he closed both his eyes
At the ranks of bare thighs,
And felt his way trough them by touch.
(Isaac Asimov)

God's plan made a hopeful beginning,
But man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the story
Will end in God's glory,
But, at present, the other side's winning.

A handsome young gent down in Fla.
Collapsed in a hospital ca.
A young nurse from Me.
Sought to banish his pe.
And shot him. Now what could be ha.?

There was an old fellow of Lyme,
Who lived with three wives at a time.
When asked: "Why the third?",
He replied: "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

A scribe to the vulgar inclined,
Wrote a play more gross than refined,
With words, all four-letter:
Hips, nips, tits, and better
Like those that have just crossed your mind.

Und hier noch ein paar von mir:

The English department as such
Is badly in need of a crutch.
No fire, no spunk,
Titanic – half-sunk.
Thank God I am studying Dutch.

A linguist's approach to a text
Leaves sensitive souls quite perplexed:
"At first a few cuts —
Then tear out the guts —
This patient is dead. Who is next?"

A gullible lady from Gloucester
Was tricked by a fiendish impoucester.
She's hated since then
The sight of all men
And shot the poor fellows that croucester.

A jealous young husband from Leicester
Mistrusted his wife. So to teicester
He hired two men
Who time and again
Confirmed all his fears and undreicester.

Eccentric you may call my aunt
Who thought that her goldfish could chant.
In buddhist attire
She dressed the whole choir
And got them for Oxford a grant.

There was a young man from Virginia
Whose perception of time was not linear.
While dining at home
And passing through Rome
He was flirting with girls on Sardinia.